Flying home from the Historical Novel Society conference, I learned a lesson in indoctrination. I’m on a fast-moving deadline for a special project, but I had to go. HNS holds a special place for me. My very first HNS conference changed the trajectory of my life.

Before attending in 2019, I published lovely Regency romances. Sweet, comforting, polite novels—educating the world through fun, nonthreatening, history-filled reads.

But HNS cracked something open. Meeting a tribe of fellow history nerds and selling the book I never thought I’d sell—Island Queen, the biographical fiction about Dorothy Kirwan Thomas, one of the richest Black women in the Georgian world, a woman who bought her freedom and defies every rule and obstacle to live freely—that gave me the courage to keep telling stories that tug at my heart and mind.

Being free to create is a gift. One that’s hard to achieve. Black and brown creators, and women creators, have been indoctrinated, fed rules in the simplest of terms that challenge our freedom. Rules such as:

* That more ethnic the cover, the more it can impact book sales—or determine where a book gets shelved.

* That a pen name that sounds like a man’s carries more heft.

* That “historical accuracy” will be weaponized to silence you if you make one mistake.

* That if you fail, your failure will become the reason the next person who looks like you gets turned away.

You’ll never know how much that last one haunted me. How it still probably drives me to go the extra mile.

And I share all this to say: we’ve all been indoctrinated by our circumstances.

Writers learn quickly by how we’ve been treated—and how we’ve seen others treated—in publishing. It’s hard to break the pattern. And it’s about logic. It’s 1 + 1 = 2 when one sees patterns repeating.

And you, the listener—you’ve been indoctrinated.

Certain patterns, behaviors, even thoughts have been ingrained through images and repetition. This was made clear to me on my flight home.

Flying back from Vegas, Atlanta’s weather did not cooperate. Several delays and cancellations later, I was finally on my way but rerouted through Minneapolis. I’d arrived in Atlanta with just a four-hour delay and a bump up to first class. All was good.

But I wasn’t prepared for the real lesson I’d take from that flight.

An older gentleman sat beside me. The moment we took off, he flicked on his monitor and tuned into the news. He looked like a typical executive—loafers, golf watch, faint aftershave. He popped in his headphones, stared at the screen, and then drifted off to sleep.

I was writing but I couldn’t help watching. Something about flickering images in my periphery always pulls me in. For ten minutes, I stared at his monitor. No sound—just headlines and smiling faces discussing stories that disturbed me.

Ice raids with masked men capturing women on the street. The host smiled.Florida detention camps pop onto the screen. The smiling host makes it appear to be a pitch for a Disney vacation.

And my neighbor slept. Peacefully. Whatever was being whispered in his ear lulled him into calm.

I sat there gobsmacked.

This is indoctrination.

Indoctrination is subtle, yet powerful.It’s not about shouting.It’s about repeating.It’s about phrasing.It’s about making you feel safe while you’re being lulled into believing counterintuitive things.

The TV’s formula was simple:

* Repeat the same emotionally charged themes again and again.

* Print aggressive words: sue, threaten, destroy, take back, fight for your children.

* Paint the other side as monsters trying to take away your rights—your autonomy, your voice, your values.

* Frame reasonable actions as extreme.

* Show flags. Cue nostalgia. Stir something primal.

* Smile while doing it.

And the man next to me? He slept. Fully content. The world whispering in his ear made sense. That’s when I understood the terrifying genius of it.

People aren’t being brainwashed. They’re being comforted—soothed by simple stories, a few buzzwords, and a familiar rhythm.

In this whispering world, empathy is suspect.Fairness? A threat.Truth? Conditional.

How else do you explain people cheering for a roofer—someone who rebuilt their home after a hurricane—being rounded up and sent to a detention camp being pictured as a theme park?

What happened to questioning things?When did we decide that cruelty is an acceptable solution?Why is it okay to sleep through someone else’s pain?

Be awake.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re overreacting.You’re not a sucker for caring. You’re human.

And to my fellow protestors and change-makers: we can’t just fight with facts and five-point plans. Shame doesn’t move people. Complexity doesn’t sway them.

If your message makes them feel stupid, they’ll dig in and side with the whisperers.

So what can we do?

We make the stakes as clear as possible.

We must give up the five-dollar words.Because those words only land with the most liberal among us. And as Nicole Hannah-Jones wrote in her recent New York Times essay, How Trump Upended 60 Years of Civil Rights in Two Months, citing scholar Ian Haney López—the rapid decline in support for DEI came from liberals. Particularly white liberals. Those skeptical of diversity. Those sympathetic to complaints about “wokeness.”

It hurts. On so many levels. Who is actually an ally?We had the George Floyd awakening, the feel-good changes… and then people voted against their better angels—for cheap eggs all while rolling back the good changes.

It’s going to take me a while to believe in allyship again.

And the lack of big words hurts because I love big words. I love nuance. But I’d rather be heard than admired for my vocabulary. I’d rather reach the “gettable” than preach to the choir, a choir who might be full of whisperers.

So:Use simple language.Simple signs.Drop the jargon.Focus on why it matters to them.

And alas, poor Yorick—and Vanessa—we must keep it simple.

Maybe then we can re-indoctrinate the world to be good.For once.For all.

Books to help with framing the problem are:

Nice Racism by Robin DiAngelo

A follow-up to White Fragility, this dives deeper into how progressive people often unknowingly uphold systemic racism.

White Rage by Carol Anderson

A piercing explanation of how systemic racism reacts violently to Black advancement in America—through policy, education, and media.

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Essential essays on the intersections of race, gender, sexuality, and the power of being awake to oppression.

The 1619 Project: A New Origin Story by Nikole Hannah-Jones

This anthology reframes American history by placing the consequences of slavery and the contributions of Black Americans at the very center of the national narrative and reveals how deeply racial ideology—and indoctrination—are woven into the fabric in the U.S.

This week, I’m highlighting Malik Books through their website and Bookshop.org

Help me build momentum for Fire Sword and Sea—spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about female pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers large and small who have set up preorders for this title.

Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com under the podcast link in the About tab.

Let’s keep rising and creating together—like, subscribe, and share. Please stay connected to Write of Passage.”

Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you’ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

Originally posted 2025-07-01 13:10:00.

As a nerd, I love patterns. I’m trained to find patterns. But today there is one I don’t want to see. There’s a pattern—and it is costing Black women their lives. Not just in the streets, but in their homes… in their relationships… even in childbirth.

This is a pattern we can no longer pretend we don’t see.

There is a pattern emerging—no, not emerging, persisting—and it is costing Black women their lives.

We cannot keep calling these stories “isolated incidents.” We cannot keep lowering our voices when the truth demands a roar. What we are witnessing is a crisis: intimate partner violence against Black women, compounded by a maternal health system that too often fails them at their most vulnerable. Love should not be lethal. Pregnancy should not be a death sentence. And yet, for far too many Black women, both are becoming dangerous terrain.

In April 2026 alone, we’ve lost:

• Dr. Cerina Wanzer Fairfax, a 49-year-old dentist and mother, killed on April 16 by her estranged husband in an apparent murder-suicide.

• Nancy Metayer Bowen, Vice Mayor of Coral Springs, found dead on April 1; her husband was charged with premeditated murder.

• Pastor Tammy McCollum, 58, killed on April 6 in her North Carolina home by her husband.

• Ashly “Ashlee Jenae” Robinson, 31, a content creator who died under suspicious circumstances on April 9 while traveling with her fiancé after documented domestic conflict.

• Qualeshia “Saditty” Barnes, 36, a pregnant Detroit rapper, shot and killed in Atlanta on April 8, reportedly by her boyfriend.

• Davonta Curtis, 31, a Black trans woman beaten to death on April 8 by her boyfriend.

• Barbara Deer, 51, an educator killed on April 15 in a murder-suicide.

• Ashanti Allen, 23, eight months pregnant, murdered before she could bring life into the world.

Say their names. Hold them in your mouth. Refuse to let their stories be reduced to footnotes beneath the names of the men who killed them.

Because that is what often happens—we learn more about the killers than the women whose lives were stolen.

This is not a coincidence. This is not rare. This is systemic, cultural, and deeply rooted.

According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, more than 40% of Black women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime, compared to 31.5% of women overall. The National Center for Victims of Crime reports that 53.8% of Black women experience psychological abuse, and 41.2% experience physical abuse. These are not small numbers. These are not anomalies. These are patterns.

Let me repeat: 32% of all women experience domestic violence. 40% of all Black women experience this violence. This should not be.

Violence against women begins early.

Teen dating violence already lays the groundwork. Data from Basile et al. (2020) shows that about 8% of high school students experience physical dating violence, with girls disproportionately affected—9% of girls versus 7% of boys. Sexual violence is even more skewed: 13% of girls compared to 4% of boys. These are children learning, too soon, that love can hurt.

Then comes adulthood. Then comes partnership. Then, for many, comes pregnancy.

And pregnancy—what should be a sacred, supported, protected time—becomes one of the most dangerous periods in a Black woman’s life.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that in 2023, Black women experienced 50.3 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births, compared to 14.5 for White women. That is more than three times higher. The Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF) confirms this disparity persists across income and education levels. This is not about individual choices. This is about systemic failure.

Even more devastating: over 80% of pregnancy-related deaths are preventable.

Preventable.

Let that word sit with you.

Black women are dying not because we don’t know how to save them—but because we are not saving them.

Structural racism, provider bias, unequal access to care, and the chronic stress of navigating a world that devalues Black womanhood all contribute. Black women are more likely to be ignored when they report symptoms, more likely to have their pain dismissed, and more likely to receive delayed or inadequate care.

When you layer that on top of intimate partner violence, the risk multiplies.

What is this pattern telling Black women?

Work. Survive. Endure. But do not expect to be protected. Do not expect to be safe in love. Do not expect to be heard in pain.

Is that the message?

Because if it is, then we must reject it—loudly, collectively, and without apology.

I am one of the lucky ones.

I have a loving husband. I was supported. When complications arose during my pregnancy—when my daughter Ellen’s heart rate dropped in half with every push—my doctors and nurses listened. They acted. They ordered an emergency C-section. They saved her life. They saved mine.

My daughter is alive and thriving today because I was heard.

But I should not be the exception.

My story should not sound miraculous. It should sound standard.

Advocacy should not be a privilege. Quality care should not be a lottery. Survival should not depend on luck.

And safety—safety in our homes, in our relationships, in our bodies—should never be negotiable.

On that X platform—yes, I haven’t found a way to quit yet—I saw a post by Bishop Talbert Swan. He quoted Malcolm X, who said, “The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black woman.”

Then he had a call to arms:

That truth still echoes today.

We cannot protest violence in the streets and excuse it in our homes.

We cannot call out injustice from systems and ignore harm within our communities.

We cannot demand accountability from others and remain silent among ourselves.

He said Black men must hold other Black men accountable. I agree. I can check on my husband, brothers, and nephews and make sure they are in good headspaces, and, as much as I can, make sure they are in healthy relationships. I need everyone else to do the same.

We need to be our brothers’ keepers. But we also need to be our sisters’ refuge. When she is in trouble, we need to be safe spaces. We need to help advocate in those moments when she is weak and vulnerable.

Our love and care should not be in whispers—not one way in public and absent behind closed doors. If you need help, get it. Call 800-799-7233 or text BEGIN. These are 24/7 resources for help.

I spoke with multi-published romance author Jacquelin Thomas who recently completed her Master’s-level coursework in Clinical Mental Health Counseling for advice for my audience, she said, “In moments of domestic violence crisis, the priority is safety—not resolution. A safety plan should be simple, practical, and personalized. It should include identifying a safe place to go in an emergency, having a list of trusted people to contact, and keeping important items ready (such as ID, medications, keys, a prepaid cell phone, and cash).” She also said to plead with my audience, to prioritize immediate safety.

Click here for a A Safety Plan.

Save your life, the life of your children or spouse—leave.

Please don’t care about image. This is about lives.

The violence, the lack of care—it is a symptom of patriarchy. It’s control and entitlement.

Don’t let anything keep you from getting help. Protecting women is not optional. Protecting Black women, children, and babies is not negotiable.

If we fail to confront this—honestly, boldly, and without deflection—then we are guilty. We should not be the ones writing tweets saying we wished we had done more.

To all those touched by domestic violence or the lack of maternal care, I offer you prayers and wishes for peace.

We have less than two weeks left in April. Let’s not have more names to say. But let’s keep the ones who have fallen victim in our thoughts., in our prayers, on our lips, and please:

Hold abusers accountable—no matter who they are.

Send grace and love to your Black sisters.

Our survival should not be luck.

Being Black should not require survival against the odds. Being a woman should not increase the risk I endure because I chose love. Survival should simply require the right to breathe.

This week’s book list includes:

Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty by Dorothy Roberts Essential reading on how systems have historically controlled and endangered Black women’s bodies.

Rising Strong— Brené Brown Helps unpack silence and transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead.

Prophetic Fire: Poetic Litanies of Justice and Liberation by Bishop Talbert Swan is a blend of poetry and activism.

The Housemaid by Freida McFadden is a psychological thriller involving manipulation, control, and hidden abuse in a domestic setting. As the Guardian says, these kinds of thrillers are popular for exposing how violence can hide behind “perfect homes.”

Any book by Jacquelin Thomas but try Samson. Samson is about a man who’s lost his way finding his way back. I am so proud of madame counselor. You can find Jacquelin on Therapy Finder. It’s not often you can get help from an author hero.

And if you just want to raise a sword and slay the dragons, consider purchasing Fire Sword and Sea, my latest release and all these books from The Black Pearl Bookstore. They still have a few signed copies of Fire Sword and Sea.

You can also try one of my partners in the fight, bookstores large and small, who are in the trenches with me.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com, under the podcast link in the About tab.

Enjoying these essays? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to Write of Passage so you never miss a moment.

Thank you for being here.

I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

It probably won’t surprise you—at least not once you’ve met me—that I’m a planner. My name is Vanessa Riley, and I’m a serial planner. There isn’t an outline I don’t love, nor a spreadsheet that doesn’t call my name.

If I could design a map of a map of a map of systems accompanied by a flowchart—I’d consider it bliss. Come to one of my book events and ask what kind of person or writer I am, and I’ll often tell you: I’m a nerd’s nerd, a meticulous nerd. That’s right—pocket protector-level nerd. I love formulas and systems. I love figuring things out and then optimizing them.

Why? Because we only get so much energy, so much time, and so many resources in this life. I want every ounce I give to have maximum effect. If you can show me how to reach more people, make more impact, or spark more meaningful change, I’m listening. I’m all in.

But what happens when the plan doesn’t work?

Devastation. Armageddon. World War 3. In other words, I don’t take it well.

Yet I listened to Meghan Sussex, yes Meghan Markle on the Emma Grede’s podcast, Aspire, talking about failing as winning.

It sounds crazy at first.

I mean carefully charted course falls apart. How is it winning, when something completely unexpected hijacks your progress and leaves you scrambling? For those who “pants” their way through books—that is, write without plotting—this kind of disruption might just feel like a quirky detour. But for a planner? It’s devastating.

Life is unpredictable and messy. You pour energy into structure and logic and find out the world has other ideas.

And if the detour is because of people— you know the ones who don’t behave the way you think they should. Those people who’ve bought into that notion called free will, it can be devastating.

You don’t know who to trust. Or if you should trust it all. If the past year has taught us anything, it’s that people often act in ways that defy their own interests. They cling to ideals or narratives that make sense only to them. And we have to let them. As a famous poet, Bobby Brown used to insist, that’s their prerogative.

For those of you who know the chaos of watching a plan implode, I see you. I’ve lived that upheaval, and I want to offer a few steps I’ve found helpful:

1. You did your best.

Even if the outcome wasn’t what you expected, you gave it your all. The plan didn’t play out perfectly, but you showed up. You tried. And it’s OK to take a moment to lick your wounds.

2. Mourn what was built and what was lost.

It’s perfectly valid to grieve the work, the dream, or the strategy that didn’t survive. Tend to your mental health. Sometimes, starting over means burning what didn’t work to the ground. This can feel extreme, but it’s also freeing. When ego is stripped away, what’s left is humility, hunger, and a wide-open future.

3. Learn the lessons.

Every failure teaches us something. Maybe you trusted someone you shouldn’t have. Or maybe you missed an opportunity to include a partner who would have made all the difference. The lesson might be to trust more wisely. One of the best lessons is to pay attention not just to the bottom line, but to everyone on all sides.

4. Stopping is not quit.

Unless you’re physically in the grave, the game is not over. You might feel tired. You might feel lost. But you are not done. Separate the strategy from the strategist. It’s not a failure if you’ve learned to do better.

5. It’s okay to begin again.

Being brand new is not failure—it’s freedom. There’s a joy in learning, in discovering new spaces, in making new connections. Walking away and choosing the right season to begin again is a win.

6. Accept that all spaces aren’t meant for you.

When I look at that portrait of Ruby Bridges (The problem we all live with), as she’s being escorted by guards to integrate a classroom—people are screaming, writing nastiness on walls. But she and her parents decided that was the place for Ruby to be.

Honestly, I don’t know if I’d make the same call. Ruby’s treatment was horrific. Adults who should be protecting children were monsters in plain sight.

That’s hard. I’d question if that sacrifice is worth my peace?

Sometimes, the brutal truth is that the path you planned wasn’t yours. Stopping doesn’t mean you lost. It might mean you’re closer to the path that you’re meant to take. And in this day and age, that place needs to be loving, edifying, and safe. You have to feel you can bring all of you, not just fragments. Not just 50% of your gifts. All or nothing.

Writers know this well. Sometimes, we have to throw out what doesn’t work. I deleted 50,000 words from a manuscript that wasn’t working. That kind of heartbreak required ice cream and chocolate, and maybe a few deep sighs—but it made the book stronger. With my upcoming novel Fire Sword and Sea, the original plan didn’t hold. It took me two years, and several rewrites, to get it right.

Because I’m writing about real people—Pirates Jacquotte Delahaye, Michel Le Basque, Anne Dieu-Le-Veut, Laurens De Graaf and others from the 1600s—I owe it to them, and to my readers, to go the extra mile. You have to be will to pay the price to create value, something of lasting meaning.

If it’s worthwhile, it’s worth the effort. A good book is worth the effort. And you? You’re worth everything it takes to reach your dreams.

You know those dreams—the ones that keep you up at night, the ones you see in vivid color when your eyes finally close. These dreams call to you for a reason. And I believe you can do it. I’m counting on you. I know you can win.

Books to help you on your journey:

Meghan Sussex recommends Atomic Habits by James Clear. It’s is a practical guide to transforming your life by making small, consistent changes that compound into remarkable results.

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

– Wisdom for moments when your plan shatters and you need spiritual grounding

.

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

– For the serial planner who’s burnt out and doesn’t know why. It’s a guide to recovering your energy and agency.

This week, I’m highlighting Parnassus Books through their website and Bookshop.org

Help me build momentum for Fire Sword and Sea—spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about female pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers large and small who have set up preorders.

Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com under the podcast link in the About tab.

Let’s keep rising and creating together—like, subscribe, and share. Stay connected to Write of Passage.”

Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you’ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

Originally posted 2025-06-24 13:10:00.

Listen… when a workaholic like me leaves the house for something that isn’t work—you should probably pay attention.

Because this week, I broke my routine… and ended up in Tuscany.

For this week’s rite of passage essay, I decided to do something a little different—I actually did something fun.

Now, I know I’m a workaholic. I freely admit that. If I’m not writing a book, I’m reading one, or thinking about the next book I’m going to write or read. But sometimes, you have to step outside of that box—and I did just that. I went to see a movie.

Yes, me. Outside the house. In a theater. Not waiting for it to stream.

That alone is a huge deal.

Don’t get me wrong—I love my streaming platforms. I enjoy sitting comfortably at home (or in my office), pausing for snack breaks, rewinding scenes, all of that. But this time, I made the effort to go out.

I was in Detroit after a wonderful event at the Detroit Public Library speaking about Fire Sword and Sea. To give myself some downtime, I treated myself to some incredible fried chicken at The Fixin’s Soul Kitchen and then headed over to Emagine Theatres.

And that’s where I saw You, me, and Tuscany.

It was adorable.

If you’re looking for a movie the whole family can enjoy—something that will genuinely make you laugh out loud—this is it. It reminded me of classic romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally and While You Were Sleeping. Just warm, charming, and full of heart.

First, the scenery. Absolutely stunning. It took me right back to Florence and made me want to book another trip immediately.

Second, the comedy. This is a true romcom, with impeccable timing. Regé-Jean Page and Halle Bailey were genuinely funny and had real chemistry. I know some people questioned that—but it works. Watching them fall in love was sweet, playful, and engaging.

The film hits all the romcom beats: the antics, the meet-cute, the charming side characters, even the tourists wandering through vineyards offering hilarious commentary. And yes, there’s the wisecracking best friend with solid advice. I would’ve loved a bit more of her, but as a writer, I understand the realities of cutting for time.

Everything you expect when you hear “Tuscany”—the food, the views, the romance—is there. It’s aspirational. It’s soft-life energy. It’s a vacation on screen.

Now, I know some people take issue with seeing two Black leads in a romantic comedy. To that, I say: get a hold of yourself. There are still countless films that don’t center that experience.

Others have criticized the screenplay for not being written by a Black writer. But once you understand how difficult it is to get anything financed and produced in Hollywood, you learn to appreciate what does get made—especially when it honors the culture with care. And this film does: silk sleep bonnets, braids, edges, reverence to mama and family, lush wardrobes, cars, and, vineyards.

It’s lovely, heartfelt, and absolutely rewatchable. I hope it becomes a classic.

As for critics like Variety saying it was “missing spice”—let’s be clear. Regé-Jean Page starring in Bridgerton is one thing. This is not that.

And if you were expecting that level of “spice” from someone who also starred in The Little Mermaid… did you get it there? Did you expect it here?

Exactly.

This is a romantic comedy. Think again about films like You’ve Got Mail—there’s very little “spice.” What you get instead is witty dialogue, heartfelt moments, and those unforgettable, adorable meet-cutes.

That’s the point.

If you want something with more action—go read one of my books.

More steam, go read some of my friends’ books.

Trust me—we’ve got plenty of spice or action or laugh out loud humor 😉. So step out of your routine—you, me, Tuscany let’s go.

This week’s book list includes:

One for Artemis: The Kiss Countdown by Etta Easton – A down-on-her-luck event planner enters a fake relationship with a charming astronaut for practical reasons, only to discover their chemistry might be worth risking everything for real love.

By the Book by Jasmine Guillory – A frustrated young publishing assistant travels to coax a reclusive author into finishing his manuscript, but as they connect, both must confront their personal and professional uncertainties—and the unexpected spark growing between them.

For those stuck on hockey here’s: Hearts on the Fly by Toni Shiloh – After a career-ending injury forces a hockey player to rethink his future, an unlikely friendship blooms with his ex’s sister.

A Deal at Dawn coming June 31, 2026 – The Duke of Torrance and Lady Hampton have to find new spouses, and definitely not each other, not again.

Not a romcom but the 4th book in the Lady Worthing Mystery Series releases Sept 1, 2026 -it has humor, happenstance, some shocks, and murder.

Consider purchasing these books plus Fire Sword and Sea from The Book Worm Bookstore or from one of my partners in the fight, bookstores large and small, who are in the trenches with me.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com, under the podcast link in the About tab.

Enjoying these essays? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to Write of Passage so you never miss a moment.

Thank you for being here. Thank you to everyone who came out to Conyers or Detroit!

I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

If you don’t recognize the phrase “Sexual Chocolate,” then you might be too young or too sheltered—or simply overdue for a viewing of Coming to America. The phrase hails from a hilarious moment in this 1988 cult classic when Prince Akeem (played by Eddie Murphy) attends a church service in Queens hoping to find a “good woman.”

He does find one—but not before the audience is treated to a cringe-worthy performance by a band called Sexual Chocolate, fronted by the deluded Randy Watson (also played by Eddie Murphy in disguise). Randy sings off-key, struts like a super star, and owns the moment.

He even drops the mic to a silent crowd. Except one diehard fan leaps to his feet, clapping and shouting, “That boy is good. That boy can sing!”

It’s iconic, ridiculous, and strangely affirming. Because in a world that’s often silent—or even worse, critical—every writer, every artist needs their own version of that one fan in the crowd. Every writer needs a little Sexual Chocolate.

In today’s publishing landscape, the pressure to produce, perfect, and promote your work can be overwhelming. The road is long, the milestones are often invisible, and the validation? It’s often non-existent.

And even those at the top of their game need well wishes and love. I send some now to Ali, a real advocate who has people so pressed that find fault over ridiculous things. Ali, you are love and light. Signed, your Atlanta Hype woman.

That’s where your hype person comes in. We need a cheerleader, someone who sees your potential even when your proses are shaky, your plot is flat, your characters are still finding their rhythm. These cheerleaders shout encouragement when you feel invisible. They believe in your words—even before they’re ready for the world.

But this kind of fandom isn’t just blind praise. We have rules.

Rule #1: Be Sensitive.

A good hype person knows the difference between when a writer is ready to hear feedback and when they just need a boost. Some days are for critique; others are for comfort. Sometimes what we need most is for someone to say, “Keep going. I see you. You’ve got this.”

Rule #2: Be Strategic.

Cheering doesn’t mean enabling bad decisions. Don’t let your writer friend send out a draft that isn’t ready. Don’t let them self-sabotage by skipping the hard (but necessary) parts of the process—like working with an editor, developing a marketing plan, or cultivating industry relationships. Praise their progress, yes. But also give gentle nudges to help them remember to do the work that success requires.

Rule #3: Know Their Creative Love Language.

Every writer is fueled by different things. Some need words of affirmation. Some need gifts (like good chocolate, please and thank you). Some need a like or share of a post. Some need you telling one person or one library about their books.

Others need quality time—just someone to sit with them in the mess and say, “You’re not alone.”

The truth is, even the strongest voices waver. Even the most confident writers have moments of doubt. That’s why it’s more important than ever to be a person in someone else’s corner. Check in on your writer friends. Call up the creatives. Remind them they’re not crazy for chasing the dream, battling blank pages, or daring to tell a story that hasn’t been told before.

So today, be someone’s fan. No matter how off-key they feel, your belief in them might be the thing that gets them through.

Now say it with me: That writer can write.

Some books to help us be better encouragers are:

Keep Moving by Maggie Smith it’s

a collection of affirmations and reflections that feel like encouragement from a friend.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle is especially for women creatives, teaching how to step into your power—and to surround yourself with people who cheer for you, the fully realized version of yourself.

The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama is not just for writers but this beautiful meditation offers hope and helps us navigating tough seasons.

This week, I’m highlighting Kindred Stories through their website and Bookshop.org

Help me build momentum for Fire Sword and Sea—spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about female pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers large and small who have set up preorder.

Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com under the podcast link in the About tab.

You can guess my love language? Go ahead and like this episode and subscribe to Write of Passage so you never miss a moment.

Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you’ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

Originally posted 2025-06-17 13:10:00.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire! ” On the playground we used to yell this at someone who did something dishonest. We were in their faces. We demanded better.

Somewhere along the way, that simple standard faded. Now, lies don’t get called out—they get likes.

Scrolling yesterday on Twitter, and I saw a tweet about A$AP Rocky cheating on Rihanna—that thing was completely false, yet it spread like melting butter on warm toast.

Saw bits of a speech claiming to have decimated Iran’s capabilities only to have two of our airplanes shot down. I think someone was lying. Politicians bend the truth, put our troops in harm’s way and get mad when they are fact checked by bombed wreckage.

Then there’s the lies we’re all guilty of— picking up pictures that look so polished that they barely resemble reality.

It makes me stop and ask: whatever happened to the truth? Does it exist? Has it been trampled on these social streets and stomped on, crushed into the pavement like dust beneath our feet?

According to Statistica, internet users around the globe average 6 hours and 38 minutes of being online daily. We, here in the United States, average around 10. Imagine the amount of curated illusions, we’ve soaked up. Edited photos, staged luxury trips, and even fake relationships have become some kind of digital currency.

And with AI tools, bots, and filters, it’s never been easier to lie. Anyone can build a perfect life or post an outrageous Am I the A*****e Tweet, something so patently false but meant for catching casually, scrolling eyeballs.

And when we see digital attention, those “likes” appear to translate into status, attention, and brand deals, the temptation to lie grows stronger.

But what does that do to our souls?

At first, it seems harmless. A little extra filter here. A small exaggeration there. But over time, these little distortions pile up. Truth shouldn’t be flexible. Authenticity should never be optional.

And yet, we now kinda expect it.

When lies are constant, they stop shocking us—and that might be the most dangerous part how easily we now accept this reality.

That’s a deep cost. We compare our real lives to someone else’s fabricated one, and feel like we’re falling short. We measure our accomplishments against illusions.

Then some of us feel the tug, the draw to keep up. How can we ever compete with lies.

It amazes me what we are now willing to accept as normal. Dishonesty has become normalized. We see it in headlines and in speeches.

Lies which would’ve gotten me kicked off the playground or grounded at home are now laughed at as everyday conversations.

The line between truth and fiction keeps blurring, until it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. And yet, we all know—deep down—that our values are being lost.

I want to go back to a time—real or imagined—when integrity mattered. When being a “good man” or a “good woman” meant something solid. When your word carried weight. When truth wasn’t negotiable, even when it was inconvenient.

Integrity is more than just telling the truth—it’s about who you are when no one is watching. It’s about choosing honesty even when a lie would be easier, faster, or more rewarding. It’s about building a life that doesn’t need filters to look meaningful.

The internet may reward illusion, but real life should still depend on truth. I want to trust in relationships, the credibility of our leaders, and see respect in our communities. None of this exists without honesty. Once trust is broken, it’s very far hard to rebuild any reputation crafted online.

So maybe it’s time to bring back not just “Liar, liar, pants on fire,” but the will to challenge ourselves and others back to being real.

In a world full of curated lies, the truth should be the one thing that binds us together, the one thing that doesn’t need editing.

Speaking of Liars – How about murderous liars, today, is the release of the audiobook for Murder in Berkeley Square. Get cozy, as our intrepid Lady Worthing is snowed in with murderers. You know some bodies.

Need More Liars?

Let’s not forget the our ladies who have to fib about their identities. Female pirates in disguise. Have you gotten a copy of Fire Sword and Sea—the audio is amazing. And come out to see me April 11th, Come to Conyers Book Festival. April 12th, meet Michigan at the Detroit Public Library. All my friends and General Motors buddies come on out. I am not lying when I say, I want to see you.

This week’s book list all lies:

The Death of Truth, Notes on Falsehood in the Age of Trump

by Michiko Kakutani Examines how political rhetoric, media, and culture have eroded respect for facts.

Algorithms of Oppression, How Search Engines Reinforce Racism by Safiya Umoja Noble Reveals how search engines and digital platforms perpetuate bias and misinformation.

The Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon Follows a woman rebuilding her life after a viral cheating scandal.

Need more liars?

A Deal at Dawn coming June 31, 2026 – The Duke of Torrance and Lady Hampton have to find new spouses, and definitely not each other, not again.

Consider purchasing these books plus Fire Sword and Sea or preorder A Deal at Dawn (Lies are getting exposed in that one) from The Book Worm Bookstore or from one of my partners in the fight, bookstores large and small, who are in the trenches with me.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com, under the podcast link in the About tab.

Enjoying these essays? Go ahead and like this episode, share, and subscribe to Write of Passage so you never miss a moment.

Thank you for being here. I want you to come again. This is Vanessa Riley.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

Whenever I finish writing a manuscript, there’s always this unexpected wave of sadness that hits me. It shouldn’t be unexpected. This is like my 27th or 28th book.

But yes. You heard me right—sadness.

Because now I’m done with these characters.

Characters I’ve lived with for three, sometimes four months. Characters whose voices echoed in my head, who made me laugh, who made me cry, and made me question everything. And once I’ve typed “The End,” there’s a sudden stillness. And in the silence, creep doubts:

“Could I’ve done this better?”

“What if I’d added one more scene?”

“Did I do them justice?”

But here’s the truth—you need to let it sit.

You need space. You need time.

You need to send it off to your editor, beta reader, or mother, and let someone else hold the story for a while, because you’ve been holding it close for too long. And when it comes back—marked with notes, questions, maybe even a few praises—you’ll be ready. You’ll have distance. And perspective to guide you.

Still… I get a little sad. Because I’ve grown attached.

My brain still wants to write more scenes, dream up alternate endings, give side characters more airtime. But the book is done when it’s done. There’s no need to stretch a moment or linger more than necessary.

⸻

With A Deal at Dawn, I’ve wrapped up the Betting Against the Duke series.

It’s been a journey.

• A Gamble at Sunset was Georgina’s story—a fake courtship that turned into something real, when she found her voice.

• A Wager at Midnight followed Scarlet, a woman fighting for public health alongside a handsome doctor and the complicated Duke we come to love.

• But A Deal at Dawn… this one’s different.

It’s a second chance romance, yes—but one that deals with what happens when forgiveness feels impossible. When tomorrow isn’t promised. It asks: what does happily ever after look like when you’re living with chronic, debilitating illness?

Maybe that’s why this book lingered. Because it’s heavy. It’s real with my trademark foolishness thrown in.

I want to be respectful of those finding themselves in this position. I want to tell a story that isn’t often told in historical romance. A story about two people—Jahleel and Katherine—who’ve made serious, tragic mistakes. Who are struggling. And yet… still worthy of love.

It was hard to write.

But I think you’re going to feel every bit of it.

⸻

Now that the manuscript is done, I ask myself:

What comes next?

The summer months are my time to dig into the “wish list” projects. Those ideas that won’t let go. Stories that whisper in the back of my mind. The ones I dream about while I’m supposed to be sleeping. Between conferences, revisions, and promo—it’s my time to play again.

But also… it’s hard not to look around at the world and feel the weight of everything. We’re pretty cooked.

The news? Bleak.

Protests are erupting. People suffering from natural disasters are being ignored. Prices rise. Patience runs low.

It’s like we’re all trapped in satan’s pressure cooker. I don’t want be chopped steak. I want off the menu. Please rewind the clock to a time when we were all filet mignon—delectable, tender by nature, and expensive by choice.

But I watched a reel the other day—just a young woman speaking truth.

She said:

“If our ancestors survived war, enslavement, displacement, disease…

If they survived laws written to break their spirits—

Then so can we.”

And she’s right. We have survived darker days.

So I have faith that we’re going to get our acts together.

That somehow, everything will shake out.

That it’s going to be okay again.

So take a deep breath with me—

Everything is going to be all right.

⸻

But in the meantime, preserve your mental health.

Hold close the things and people you cherish.

And let yourself rest. You’ve done a lot.

You are doing a lot.

And then—when you’re ready—start asking:

What’s next?

What project is going to consume you for the next three or four months?

Which story or idea wakes you wake up early?

What is it that keeps tugging at your thoughts like a child in want of attention. It needs nurturing.

It needs your love to be poured in to it. lt cries out for your energy, and clutches at your heart until it’s finally complete.

That’s where I’m headed.

That’s what I’m looking for right now.

Even while revising, promoting, preparing for launch days—I’m dreaming of that next passion.

And speaking of what’s next—I’ve been talking a lot about Fire Sword and Sea. We’re getting closer to a cover reveal, and I can’t wait for you to see how that story’s shaped up . It’s going to be a wild ride.

⸻

So, I’ll leave you with this:

Don’t give up.

Find that passion.

Let it move you, stretch you, heal you.

And when it shows up? Let it consume you—in the best possible ways.

Books to help us let go are:

Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life by Dani Shapiro. It’s a deeply personal meditation on writing, grief, self-doubt, and creative renewal.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. This is a classic that embraces imperfection, persistence, and yes, the sadness and relief of finishing a project.

Ordinary Notes by Christina Sharpe is not a traditional writing craft book, but it’s deeply reflective, exploring memory, loss, Black life, and the power of language. It’s perfect for writers processing the emotional weight of finishing something.

This week, I’m highlighting Detroit Book City through their website and Bookshop.org

Help me build momentum for Fire Sword and Sea—spread the word and preorder this disruptive narrative about female pirates in the 1600s. This sweeping saga releases January 13, 2026. The link on my website shows retailers large and small who have set up preorder.

Show notes include a list of the books mentioned in this broadcast.

You can find my notes on Substack or on my website, VanessaRiley.com under the podcast link in the About tab.

Enjoying the vibe? Go ahead and like this episode and subscribe to Write of Passage so you never miss a moment.

Thank you for listening. Hopefully, you’ll come again. This is Vanessa Riley.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit vanessariley.substack.com/subscribe

Originally posted 2025-06-10 13:10:00.